Taking Up Something New
Many people are using flower essences as part of their approach to the natural healing of grief. If you are grieving the loss of a loved one, or a pet, you may consider this approach. Flower essences shouldn’t be confused with essential oils. Oils are derived from the crushing of the flower; essences are from the sympathetic vibration of its spirit.
The way flower essences work is through raising our vibrational energy from the low energies of grief, sadness, anger, guilt and depression, to the higher energies of love, healing and gratitude. We should also remember that grief is natural, and it is the outcome of love and loss. When we are able to take a healing attitude to our grief, it becomes far less painful and we are grateful for the time we had with our loved one. It also makes integrating the loss and moving on to love again much easier. Many people get stuck in grief and become depressed as a result.
If you are already taking medication for grief, for example, an anti-depressant, you should not discontinue it. Try the flower remedies as well, and as you start to feel better, discuss tapering off the prescription medication with your doctor.
The flower essences are made in a very particular way that Dr Joel describes in his diary (add link). He says that it feels as if the orchid itself wants to reach out and offer the world its healing energy. In order to use flower essences to their fullest extent you may need to work with your underlying emotions. No emotion is wrong or unjustified, they all have a reason for existing but we may need to heal them. There are essences for the common emotions that go with grief: shock, denial, anger, depression, and guilt. As you use the essences so generously given by these beautiful flowers, you will most likely experience feelings of calm, clarity and peace.
There are specific essences that are most suitable for particular emotional states, and particular grief situations.
Shock Grief Combination Essence
If you lose a loved one, or a friend, or a pet suddenly and unexpectedly, you should try Shock Grief Combination Essence, which has been specifically created to help with the initial panic and shock -
Healing Profound Grief Essence
Often a sign of grief that has gotten stuck is depression. Healing Profound Grief Essence is like a rescue rope to help you out of the deep well of depression. Try it -
Letting Go and Moving On Essence
As we move through the cycle of grief, we have to let go of the loved one and move on. Letting Go and Moving On Essence is a wonderful help with this -
Helping You Through the Great Transition
If you or a loved one is facing death, you might like to try this essence which gives a calm in facing this transition -
Amazon Healing From Grief and Emotional Trauma Flower Essence
This essence is very useful for people that have flat emotions after dealing with grief from the loss of a loved one or from emotional trauma.
The Amazon Wisdom and Transition Orchid Essence (Spiritual Growth Orchid)
This is a very powerful orchid essence that helps you develop profound wisdom and helps open and balance all the Chakras (energetic centers of the body). This essence helps you tap into the Universal mind for greater wisdom in making important decisions. Another area this essence works in is coming to terms with a terminal illness - both in one’s own self, family and pets. This essence helps dissolve feelings of regret.
Amazon Detox Orchid Essence
This essence helps bring back full energy and has been found to be very useful as a flower essence for cancer therapy. This essence can be used with all traditional cancer therapy such as radiation and chemotherapy and can be used with holistic cancer therapy. This essence dissolves emotions of guilt. It helps dissolve the energies that block spiritual evolution and brings one to the realization of perfection in both the world and spiritual issues.
Amazon Courage Orchid
And for those who have gone through the loss of a loved one and want to start a new relationship but lack the courage, Amazon Courage Orchid Essence is especially powerful
Meditation can be an important part of holistic grief healing. If you are already a meditator, you will know its power. But if you are not, don’t give up. If sitting cross-legged on a mat waiting for a bell ring doesn’t appeal to you, then there are many other forms of meditation that can bring most of the important benefits.
If you’re grieving over a human, or even a pet loss, then the chances are you will be experiencing stress. Stress is often associated with depression and burnout as well as grief.
The signs of stress include:
- Feeling tired but not being able to sleep at night
- Loss of appetite or food cravings
- Frequent crying or angry outbursts
- Anxiety and restlessness
- Poor digestion (e.g. constipation, stomach cramps, diarrhoea).
Practiced on a daily basis, meditation calms both body and mind. There are several reasons for this. Our brains produce different brain waves according to what we are doing and thinking. Meditation seems to shift our brain waves from beta (highly alert, concentrating, and working) to alpha (more relaxed and reflective). So if you are ruminating about grief, turning it over and over in your mind, then meditation can make you feel more relaxed and give you some peace of mind. Even looking at the beauty of nature can give you a taste of the profound sense of well being that meditation can bring about.
There are many forms of meditation. There are the ancient Buddhist techniques: for example, Vipassana and Zen, which you really need to have a teacher to learn properly. As these are powerful techniques, learning them at home from a book is not the best idea. They also can take many years to practice to achieve successfully.
Fortunately, there are some easier self-help options using new technology which also seems to have a positive effect on grief. Using a CD or MP3 download to guide your meditation is an option. Some people use a sound repeated, such as ahh or omm; others use a visualization of a beautiful garden or a walk by the seashore. There are also binaural beats (different sounds are played into right and left ears, which the brain then synthesizes into a new sound). All of these seem to have a calming and relaxing effect. Whatever form of meditation you choose, it is bound to help you find a holistic, natural cure for grief. Remember to persist though. Good habits take at least thirty days to form and so persist each day for a month and you will notice results. You may find various flower essences help you to meditate successfully. Particularly recommended is The Amazon Wisdom and Transition Orchid Essence (Spiritual Growth Orchid)
Listening for the Divine Combination Essence
Breathing is one of simplest ways we can relieve stress, and create a feeling of relaxation in our bodies. It’s a fantastic natural cure for grief and depression as well. Research has shown that many depressed people breathe shallowly and therefore don’t get enough oxygen into their lungs to give vitality and energy. Breathing techniques increase oxygen saturation and also link the heart (feelings) and the brain (thoughts).
There are many techniques for breathing. Here is a simple one, which is taken from David Servan-Schreiber’s book, Healing without Freud or Prozac. It’s called the Heart Breath and it brings about a coherent heartbeat pattern. If our thoughts are focused on negative emotions, e.g. worries and anxieties, our heartbeat tends to have a chaotic rhythm, going up and down, without any pattern or balance. If we focus on positive emotions, such as love, kindness and gratitude, our hearts will tend to move towards a coherent, balanced rhythm. Being in coherence is something that leads to improved health.
Doing the Heart Breath is very simple and can be done as often as you need to. Take two or three really deep, slow breaths, focusing on the area of your heart itself. Some people place a hand on their chests to help with this. Imagine your heart as a child playing, perhaps in a paddling pool, having fun, being totally at ease with her surroundings. Give your heart this feeling of relaxation and nurture as you deeply and slowly take another five or six breaths. Your heartbeat should now be coherent, which will make you feel good. It also produces a steady flow of oxygenated blood to your brain, enabling you to think more clearly.
Many meditation techniques focus on breathing, as do some of the modern biofeedback programs. The Institute of Heart Math has a training program that encourages you to develop heart rate coherence by simple tasks. Linked to the computer by a finger sensor, you use your breath and heartbeats to make balloons fly and doors open. The program is fun but it is excellent training as well.
Anything that reduces anxiety and promotes wellbeing can be used in the search for holistic grief healing. Breathing is perhaps the simplest, but one of the most effective, techniques for this. You may find Calm Breath Is Your Life essence complements your breath work.
If you are grieving, you may forget to relax. This is especially true if you have been caring for a loved one or pet before they passed away. You may have neglected yourself and your own health because you have been focused on caring.
Being able to relax will bring many benefits, but two stand out. You will feel better and you will improve your health. Many studies have shown that widows, for example, who practiced progressive relaxation three or four times a day had increases in their immune cell activity. This is particularly important because we know that people who are going through the grief process are more susceptible to disease.
Progressive Relaxation can be learnt through a teacher or a tape. If you use the simple guidance steps below, you may find it useful to record the steps so that you can listen to it as you do it. Gentle music or recordings of natural sounds, for example, sea sounds or whale music can be very helpful here.
- Lying on your back, close your eyes.
- Feel your feet, sensing their weight. Gradually move from your toes up to your ankles. Let them sink into the bed.
- Become aware of your knees and shins. Consciously relax them and feel them sink into the bed.
- Feel your upper legs and thighs. Feel their weight. Consciously relax them and feel them sink into the bed.
- Become aware of your abdomen and chest. Deepen and slow your breathing. Let your abdomen and chest relax and sink into the bed.
- Feel your buttocks. Sense their weight. Consciously relax them and feel them sink into the bed.
- Become aware of your hands, moving from the fingers to the wrist. Consciously relax them and feel them sink into the bed.
- Feel your upper arms. Sense their weight. Consciously relax them and feel them sink into the bed.
- Feel your shoulders. Sense their weight. Consciously relax them and feel them sink into the bed.
- Become aware of your neck. Sense its weight. Consciously relax it and feel it sink into the bed. Necks often carry most of our tension so really let your neck go.
- Feel your head and skull. Sense its weight. Consciously relax it and feel it sink into the bed.
- Feel your mouth and jaw and throat. Try to avoid thinking. Let them go.
- Feel your eyes. Sense if there is tension in your eyes. Consciously relax your eyelids and feel the tension slide off the eyes.
- Feel your face and cheeks. Consciously relax them and feel the tension slide off into the bed.
- Mentally scan your body. If you find any place that is still tense, then consciously relax that place and let it sink into the bed.
To help you relax, you might like to try Tune Up Your Mind essence and Tune Up Your Body Yoga Essence.
and Tune Up Your Body Yoga Combination Flower Essence.
Without doubt, regular exercise is essential for health. It’s a particularly important natural cure for grief. Exercise doesn’t have to mean pumping iron in gyms. It can be as simple as a brisk walk for half an hour every day.
The important thing is to make a commitment to it and keep going long enough for it to become a habit. Having a set time of day for exercise is usually positive, as quite quickly you will find yourself looking forward to it.
Choose something you enjoy, don’t force yourself to do something you hate. Some people like to go swimming alone because it’s a time to catch their thoughts, to process things without interruption. Others prefer a more socially interactive activity such as playing a game of tennis. Try a number of different forms of exercise before you decide.
If you have any health issues, it is wise to get a doctor to check you before undertaking anything vigorous, such as cross-country running or weight lifting. But walking is almost always safe for everyone.
As well as toning muscles and promoting health through the body, exercise has an important benefit for anyone who is suffering from grief or depression. It stimulates us to produce feel-good hormones. These include endorphins, serotonin and dopamine. These hormones combine to lift mood and may help with managing mild to moderate cases of depression. Exercise also reduces our stress hormones as well, which is an added benefit.
If you have had a dog, and recently lost your pet, you may have relied, as so many of us do, on the dog’s need for exercise to motivate you for going for a walk. You may have to make a special effort to go out in the fresh air without canine companionship. Try new walks if you can, or walk a dog for a friend.
If you have had to care for a spouse or family member during a long, terminal illness, you may find you have neglected your own health in order to look after them. Getting started with an exercise program is an essential part of self-care. It honors the person who you have loved and lost to be as healthy and positive as you can be.
If you feel negative at the thought of taking up exercise, then you might like to try the essence that’s most suited to starting new things Welcome New Adventures Combination Flower Essence.
There are many forms of yoga – in fact yoga is one of the most widely practiced forms of exercise in the world. Yoga combines two important natural cures for grief – exercise and breathing.
Many people become sedentary, especially when they are grieving. Alice Christensen, founder of the American Yoga Association recommends a couple yoga positions especially because they increase blood circulation, making it easier to overcome the physical effects of grief.
The Standing Sun
Stand straight, feet parallel, and breathe out to a count of three and then raise your arms to the sides in a semicircle and then overhead. Stretch and look up. Hold for a count of three, then breathe out to a count of three as you bend forward from the hips, keeping your head between your outstretched arms. Try to grasp your legs firmly with both hands. Relax.
The Knee Squeeze
Lying flat on your back with your arms at your sides, breathe in to a count of three as you raise your right knee to your chest. Make sure your lungs are full, wrap your arms around your knee, and hold your breath in for a count of three as you squeeze your knee to your chest. Repeat with your left leg. Then rest a moment, breathing gently. You can repeat this three times. It’s also wonderful for an aching back.
If yoga is not to your taste, you might like to try Pilates. It combines many of the stretches and breathing work of yoga, with an emphasis on developing a strong core of muscles around the abdomen. There are many DVDs on both yoga and Pilates but it’s best to go to a teacher first so that you learn the best and safest practices.
You might like to try Detox Muscle Tension Essence in combination with yoga or Pilates to help you get the most out of the activity. and the Tune Up Your Body Yoga Essence
Taking Up Something New
Many people who go through the cycle of grief want to mark the end of the active mourning phase by taking up something new. Although this is not recommended for people who are still in shock or depression following a loss, it is an excellent natural cure for later stages of grief as it leads a person back into the stream of life.
How soon you can take up something new depends on how recent the loss was, and how important the person or pet was to you. Don’t take on too much too soon and choose your projects wisely.
David, a widower, experienced the loss of his pet dog, who had been with him ever since his wife had passed away. He said, “I don’t want to take on the responsibility of another dog at my age but I would like to be around animals.” He now volunteers at a local pet shelter, helping to look after the abandoned animals who need to be adopted. It gets him out of the house, meeting new people, and has made him a lot happier.
Valerie was still living in her mother’s old home three years after her mother had died. She had gone through many of the phases of grief but hadn’t moved on – literally as well as metaphorically. One day a friend said to her, “Why don’t you think of selling your big old house and buying something more modern, closer to the city?” With her friend’s help, Valerie found a lovely new place and together they had great fun choosing the color schemes and furniture. It completed something for her as she really moved into a new life.
If your loss was recent, don’t think of moving until at least a year has passed. You should feel reasonably happy and settled before you undertake such a major life event.
Volunteering is a wonderful natural cure for grief. Choose your project wisely, find something that really interests you and that would be enjoyable to undertake. Don’t take on too much too soon and get exhausted, but pace yourself. Make a realistic time commitment and stick to it.
A great flower essence to help you is the Welcome To New Adventures Essence.
We have just heard that David has adopted a dog from the pet shelter. The heart doesn’t always make rational choices! But David is safe in the knowledge that the shelter will foster his pet, should he pass away first.
Creativity is one of the best natural cures for grief. Not only does it help us by encouraging us to focus on something outside of ourselves, there is usually a good result as well. Many beautiful gardens and fine houses, as well as all kinds of works of art, have been created as part of grief work.
John was not an artist by profession. He described himself as a practical man, a technically oriented person. When he lost his only brother from cancer, he started to write poetry. He says, “It doesn’t matter that the end result isn’t as good as Shakespeare. I get so much pleasure of out it, it brings me closer to my brother in a positive way, and it calms and stills my mind.”
Almost any creative task can be used holistically for grief healing. The only rule is that it must not be the means by which you earn your living because then it is work. Using creativity as a form of healing grief must be that it is for you alone. Don’t let others judge the results. People can be very damning about creative endeavors, especially when they haven’t tried them.
One of the great things about creative work is that it encourages self-expression and flow. Flow is a state which we get into when we are totally absorbed by an activity. Athletes call it the ‘zone’ and it can result in some spectacular achievements. People often report that hours fly by like minutes, appetite is reduced and that they experience contentment.
Some ideas for creative projects include:
- Making a garden
- Painting a picture
- Writing – poems, short stories – anything!
- Learning or playing a musical instrument
- Restoring a piece of broken furniture
- Decorating a room
- Making a tapestry cushion
- Creating a piece of pottery
- Learning a new language.
Many institutions run classes for all age groups in all sorts of creative activities. As well as enjoying the learning process, there’s also the chance to make new friends and increase your social circle.
If you are anxious about creativity, you might like to try Peruvian Amazon Creativity Orchid Essence to open yourself up to new possibilities.
Another great essence to try is the Gateway to Happiness Essence
Talking is one of the oldest of the natural cures for grief. If you have lost someone, you may find it helpful to talk about your feelings with a friend. But sometimes our friends don’t listen as well as they could. Sometimes they give us well-meaning, but actually harmful advice, such as “don’t dwell on what you’ve lost”, “look on the bright side”, “count your blessings” and other platitudes.
If this is the case, then it’s time to find a bereavement counselor. These are counselors who are specially trained in talking to people who are going through the grief process. They are trained in listening skills and can skilfully help you to move through the stages of grieving.
Richard lost his mother four years ago. He didn’t tell anyone at work and, as he has no partner and few close friends, barely spoke about her death and what it meant to him. As a result, his grief became frozen and his feelings numb. He avoided intimate contact, fearing future loss, but convinced himself that he was fine all alone.
Some people are all right totally alone. But most of us aren’t. Richard slid into depending on alcohol and, when he lost his job as a result of his addiction, had a full-blown crisis on his hands. Deprived of the job, which gave his life meaning and shape, he became seriously clinically depressed. Of course there are no guarantees that, if Richard had spoken about his mother’s death to someone sooner, then his subsequent depression would have been averted. But it is more likely that he would have been able to get the help that he needed sooner.
After going through a period of rehab, Richard made a good recovery. He realised that it wasn’t just his mother’s death, but his social isolation, that had caused his depression. He now makes the effort to live a much fuller life, engaging in social activities on a regular basis. He also takes much greater notice of his feelings. When he feels a little sad, or down, he takes Lonliness & Light Combination Flower Essence.
Sharing our feelings about grief is important. By talking we are often able to identify complex emotions and start to unravel them. Being able to name our feelings is key. Flower essences are an extremely useful way of balancing our emotional energies.
One form of natural cure for grief is energy healing. The essence of energy healing is understanding that we are all vibration fields of energy. The faster energies seem more associated with positive states if mind. So if a healer intervenes and raises our energy level we will probably notice that we feel mentally clearer and happier. What happens in the mind tends to be reflected in the body and so usually physical health improves as well.
|There are many forms of energy healing. One of the ancient forms of vibrational medicine is the practice of laying on of hands. This is usually accompanied by prayer. Not all forms of energy healing require touch. Reiki, for example, is a form of healing that is practiced without touch but in the person’s energy field. There are also many examples where people have experienced distant healing, one person sending healing vibrations across space to another.
Other forms of energy healing include: chi balancing, pranic breathing, chakra balancing. Whatever the technique, it is often thought that the quality and purity of the healer’s intention is more important than the actual method used. If you are looking for a healer, make sure that it is someone whom you can trust. Your instincts about the person will be an infallible guide.
The real objective of energy healing is raising the person’s energy from depressed to active, from negative to positive. For example, when Jesus asked the sick person at the Pool of Bethesda if he wanted to be healed, this was not a simple question. It could be interpreted as a way of raising the sick person’s energetic level, so that he was vibrating in tune with healing energy. By having to acknowledge that he wanted healing, he had to admit that it was possible and do what he could to put himself in the way of it.
If you are suffering from the loss of a loved one, you may find energy healing very valuable. It can give you a real lift but like most healing, it will require that you participate in the healing process yourself. In order to be most open to energy healing, you might like to try Accepting Another Soul’s Path Combination Essence.